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Mr Methane - My Farts Guestbook

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The Fart Guestbook from Mr Methane


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30th January 2002 - 10:50:59 PM
158 : kirk
Mr. Methane you are very talented, I agree with Howard Stern on putting you on broadway. Your an inspiration to us all with your very unusual talent that im sure nobody else can do. But yea keep up the work mr. methane hope to see you back onthe howard stern show!

30th January 2002 - 07:29:49 PM
157 : Alessandro Ambrosio
I relly like your farts and I fart too please can you send me a free album

Thank yo


30th January 2002 - 12:36:46 AM
156 : Bret Kimber
Dude You rule. I was listening to your new CD my mom got me for christmas. I really love this stuff. I was wondering when you will be on howard stern next and if i could maybe send you some of my creations. I really pushed out some lunch. They call me lunch box at school because i can really let people smell my food after ive eaten it. Write me an email

Bre


29th January 2002 - 04:54:05 PM
155 : Roger Penton
What a pleasant change to see a subject of such economic and cultural significance dealt with in such a professional manner. This site deserves top marks for artistic content and contrapuntal verisimilitude! Tie your trouser legs together and sock it to 'em

27th January 2002 - 11:34:25 PM
154 : Stiffler
what a brill site this is?

27th January 2002 - 12:22:07 AM
153 : LISA
WE YANKS JUST LOVE YOU

24th January 2002 - 02:30:40 AM
152 : louisa
Hey this is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny i love this kind of stuff my mom and i laughed at all this fart stuff for hours!!!!!!!!!!

23rd January 2002 - 05:04:32 PM
151 : moses
I just wanted to say thanks for the belly-aching laughs. I've only seen you on Howard Stern's show on E. I'm keeping my nose shut but my eyes open for more. please come to Dayton oh. Keep up the good blasts

23rd January 2002 - 01:05:54 PM
150 : GERT FYLKING
Hi Paul!Pleas contact me for new apperace in STOCKHOLM end of march. (19 or/and 20) I work at a radioshow these days. Morning guy. Maby yoh can appear in the show. The main thing however is that Robert Aschbergs 50th birthday is commig up and since you are his absolute favorit it would bee more than fantastic if you could make it here. Thank you and hope you return this mail as soon as possible.Let`s talk buisness. Gert Fylking

21st January 2002 - 05:06:47 PM
149 : kevin
Dear Mr. Methane:

One of my friends sent me your CD and video for Christmas. They were both utterly hilarious. The "Flight of the Bumblebee" was the best. There is nothing like hard-core belly laughter, the breeder-reactor syndrome, the kind of hard laughing that generates farts which generates more laughter, and the cycle continues.

About myself, I fart everyday. In my circle, I'm very well known for my farting. Some think I'm funny and some don't. My first fart memories root back to the time when I was five years old. When I was a kid (until now) I was always very flatulent. I'll never forget the time when I was in elementary school, at the bus stop in the morning, waiting for the bus to come. There was a big dog with floppy ears standing next to me. I farted. The instant I farted, the dog's ears popped right up. I have alot of strange-but-true fart stories that I've accumulated in my lifetime.

I wondered how you have a steady stream of gas ready in order to fart your tunes. When visiting this site, I learned you discovered "anal inhaling" when practicing yoga. I think that's incredible. I never before heard of anybody being able to suck in air with their butt, except for recently, Le Pantomene (which I found hard to believe).

Anyways, when I was 13, I discovered the air gulping technique. I'd swallow alot of air and not burp. To make the air pass through my alimentary canal faster, I'd lay on my left side. The air pressure in my stomach would put pressure on the pyloric spincter and case it to open, thus letting air pass into my duodenum. Peristalsis would take care of the rest. I'd continue to gulp, and about 15 minutes later, I'd be farting like crazy. If I were to be x-rayed after having gulped, I know my intestines would look like a big clump of inflated balloons bunched together. When I gulped, I looked fat, for my abdomen was very much inflated.

I have a couple of suggestions for you. I think they would be great stunts if you can master them. First, I'm wondering if you can try blowing a bubble with bubblegum by farting. I would imagine first you'd have to chew a few sticks of bubblegum. Then when the wad of gum is soft, stick it on a straw in the same manner you do when you fart a dart. It would be incredible to see you blow up a big pink bubble with a fart. I guess the success of the trick would depend on you being able to control the pneumatic pressure of the flatus being expelled.

My otther suggestion is to blow soap or detergent bubbles. I'm thinking of the kinds of bubbles kids blow with a plastic wand after dipping it in a soap solution. In this case, you'd probably need an assistant, either to hold the bubble wand, or to hold the microphone. The wand would be dipped in the bubble solution, and then aligned with your spincter. Then you'd fart. As you'd fart, bubbles would be generated. You could probably control the size of the bubbles by the force of the fart. A very forceful fart would probably generate a stream of alot of small bubbles. A very slow (and perhaps bass sounding) fart, would probably make a much bigger bubble. That would be so hilarious seeing you on the bench in farting position, farting into the bubblewand, and seeing bubbles rise and float, and eventually popping over the audience.

I think it would also be nice if you could get some farting assistants. Then there could by polyphonic farts, or better yet, a farting ensemble. It would really be amazing, if like a regular orchestra, such a group could fart out some requested tunes.

Well, these are things to think about. I really enjoy your works. I'll probably post again sometime. Perhaps I'll share some of my personal bizarre fart experiences.

"Pippity-Pop!"

- Kevi


18th January 2002 - 06:29:38 PM
148 : Nicolette
I adore you. Will you marry me

18th January 2002 - 11:21:05 AM
147 : fonsey
a fink ur farts rule ma

18th January 2002 - 12:47:47 AM
146 : yviee barboza
i just love your website!!!

17th January 2002 - 11:11:08 PM
145 : jerry
what is your opinion of the rectum as a whole?,personally i feel they should all be wiped out .seriously, my teenage sons and myself found your site a reel toot

17th January 2002 - 07:08:44 PM
144 : Dave
Fart on dude

17th January 2002 - 04:15:12 PM
143 : tegan
I can truly apreciate the skills u possess sir, as I typically am frequented by "mattie" the mud hen while attempting these great feats of yours....bfff

17th January 2002 - 04:11:11 PM
142 : robbie
u r truly an "ass"piration and I hope not to expose my poor turtle while trying some of ur amazing stunts....love it................

15th January 2002 - 12:42:11 PM
141 : mario
i really like your performance.
when do you come in Italy for a show?
i hope soon.

15th January 2002 - 12:38:16 PM
140 : maddalena
apprezzo molto il tuo lavor

15th January 2002 - 04:21:17 AM
139 : Mark J.
With so much stress in the world, it's great to have a site devoted to one of mankind's most effective methods of stress relief. Let us all break wind more often and promote
world peace. Perhaps a Middle-East Fart Fest would help strengthen international relationships. Let the gas pass! Squelch not the belch! Blow baby blow!!

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